“If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless.
If they disagree all the time, both are useless.”
While in the Forming stage, team members tend to notice what they have in common and be agreeable, in the next stage, the Storming stage, team members begin to notice differences and express differences of opinion.
Frequently, a common comment made by team members in the Storming stage is:
I don’t know what happened. We were all getting along so well.
Three fallacies that create unnecessary team friction during the Storming phase are:
Differences are negative. Why can’t we all agree? It would be so much better if we all agreed.
Assuming everyone thinks and perceives the same way that you do. If only the team members thought the same way, then the team would be harmonious again.
Assuming when someone is speaking that you are receiving the exact message they are sending. Actually, sometimes we are so busy thinking about what we plan to say next, we don’t really hear what our teammate is saying. Or we assume the teammate thinks like we do, so we may hear the words the teammate is saying, but we assume we know exactly what they mean.
The secret of an effective team is to realize that the Storming stage provides the greatest opportunity for team growth. How is this possible?
Differences are a team’s greatest strength. Difference permits a 360-degree perspective of a team project or issue. If everyone sees the same perspective, then the team may fail because they are not seeing all perspectives or not debating all views.
The secret of an effective team is to value, appreciate, and celebrate differences. View differences as learning opportunities. Instead of bemoaning why a team mate doesn’t agree about a product design, ask questions about why a team mate believes a product should be redesigned.
“We cannot safely assume
that other people’s minds work on the same principles as our own.
All too often, others with whom we come in contact do not reason as we reason, or do not value the things we value, or are not interested in what interests us.”
Instead of bemoaning differences, celebrate the gifts differing of team mates.
Instead of assuming everyone thinks and perceives the same way that we do, ask key questions to better understand how team mates are processing and thinking. One of the avenues for exploring gifts differing is learning more about personality types and how personality types can affect the way we process information and make decisions. To learn more about personality types and teams, see the post: Gifts Differing: Teams and Type.
“To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.”
Finally, instead of assuming when someone is speaking that you are receiving the exact message they are sending, use active listening to verify that the message you think you received is the message actually sent. With active listening, paraphrase what the team mate said and repeat it back to them to confirm your understanding.
An example of Active Listening would be:
When a team mate expresses a difference of opinion, you might ask:
What I heard you say was that you don’t like anything the team has completed so far and we should start over on the product design, correct?
This provides the team mate an opportunity to hear what they said and confirm or clarify further. The team mate’s response might be:
That may be what I said, but it’s not what I meant.
This provides an opportunity for the team mate to be more specific and obtain greater clarity in their own mind regarding their thoughts.
Active listening is a tremendous tool for facilitating a team moving through the Storming stage at a faster pace.
Regrettably, teams may be unable to navigate passage can become stalled in the Storming stage. In the worst case, some teams may lose hope and prefer to disband and dissolve the team than remain stuck in the Storming stage.
Some teams are relieved when they learn there are team stages and how to traverse the team stages relatively painlessly. They are relieved that the Storming stage is not a permanent state for their team, but a temporary transition.
This is where an understanding of the team voyage is critical. Teams that realize it is just a stage on the journey are better equipped to navigate through the Storming stage and continue on to the next team milestones: Norming.